The Self-Respect Test.

Self-respect: the proper esteem or regard for the dignity of one's character.

            We have all heard this word-self respect.  But do we all know what it really means? And do you know if YOU have this “proper esteem or regard for the dignity of your character?”  If you had to pause at all and question the level of your own self-respect, please read on. You are the only person in the world that can give you your own self-respect. To read about my life story and how I searched for and gained my own self-respect and love for myself, read here. For me, I didn’t really realize that I had low self-esteem, and when I did notice it, I was in denial that it was hurting me.  I did not realize this was causing me to drift further away from my own potential and important reason for my existence.  I wish I would have had someone stop and help me understand what self-respect means and how important it was to gain it for myself.  

            So I wanted to put together a few questions to help you see if you are valuing yourself as much as you should.  We all have ups and downs, and at times we don’t feel good about ourselves. This is normal. But if you are constantly putting yourself down, then you need to start giving yourself the love you deserve. And if you don’t know how; that is why I am writing this: to share my experience and hopefully give some guidance on how to increase your own self-respect.

            First of all:

Be honest with yourself.  

This is SO important. Rate how you feel about yourself today, this very moment. Do not expect to achieve any certain rating; for this does not define your self-worth.  If you receive a low rating, think of it as a gentle reminder that your soul is in need of some work to reach your deserved level of the utmost love and respect for yourself.  Only YOU can achieve this for yourself, and so it is important to understand how you feel about yourself. This test will only help you to discover your own level of self-respect, and help to be on your way to gain or re-gain more love for yourself and the ability to build on your strengths, and enrich your life.  Happiness begins with knowing who you are and accepting your true potential. This is a test that I have created based on my experiences.

Listed below are 25 questions to ask yourself. Give yourself points for each answer as follows:

Strongly Agree= 4 points

Agree = 3 points

Somewhat Agree=2 points

Disagree=1point

Strongly Disagree=0 points

1. I feel that I deserve respect from others.
2. I am able to freely share my thoughts and opinions with others.
3. I value my own ideas and opinions.
4. I know what I like and dislike. I do NOT tend to follow the crowd.
5. I am likely to think positive thoughts about myself.
6. I am assertive in expressing my needs and opinions. 
7. I am confident in my ability to make decisions.
8.  I am likely to focus on my strengths. 
9. I accept compliments and positive feedback from others.
10.  I am able to give myself credit for my accomplishments.
11.  I aim to please myself, and NOT just to be a people pleaser.
12. I feel confident about my abilities and tend to do well at school or work.
13. I am open to learning and feedback and do NOT get easily offended by that feedback.

14. I am able to try new things. I do NOT have a real “fear of failure”.
15. I am content with myself, and I think I am “good enough”.
16. I am able to form secure, healthy and honest relationships.
17. I am realistic in my expectations of myself.
18. I am positive towards myself and others and NOT overcritical of myself and others.
19. I refrain from judging myself and/or others harshly.
20. I am happy with my own attributes and do NOT negatively compare myself with others.
21. I am able to jump back after setbacks.
22. I believe I am of great worth.
23. I believe I am deserving of love from those around me.
24. I am able to deal with my life circumstances calmly, and do not struggle with anxiety.
25. I have respect for myself including my own worth, abilities, opinions, feelings, and emotions.

Add up your points and see where you are.  The summaries below are a reflection of your overall self-respect, and may or may not describe exactly how you feel about yourself. You will get a more accurate sense of your state of self-respect by reading through the questions again, noticing the questions you scored lower on.  Focus on those questions to see which areas you need to strengthen.

• 75-100: You have a healthy self-esteem. You have a balanced, accurate view of yourself. You have a good opinion of your abilities but recognize your flaws. When you understand your own worth, you invite the respect of others. You may struggle with insecurities, but these thoughts do not consume your life.

•  50-75: You have a moderate self-esteem. You have opinions on some issues, but are easily swayed to go with the opinions of others.  You try to please others before yourself.  You do not give yourself enough credit for your accomplishments, and judge yourself too harshly.

•  25-50: You struggle with your self-esteem and tend to be over-critical of yourself. You have difficulty expressing your emotions, and tend to go with the crowd instead of forming your own opinions. You are less likely to focus on your strengths and get hung up on your weaknesses.

• 0-25: You have a lower self-esteem. You put little or no value on your opinions and ideas. You focus on your perceived weaknesses and faults and give scant credit to your skills and assets. You believe that others are more capable or successful. You are unable to accept compliments or positive feedback. You fear failure, which can hold you back from succeeding at work or school.

Again, this is only to evaluate where you are at now.  If you scored low, make this be your first day of your own decision to change the way you feel about yourself.  Start off by positive affirmations: tell yourself over and over that you are important. That you matter. That you want to know who you are and give yourself the love you deserve. In my next post, I will share with you some amazing books I read with words of acceptance and love. These books helped me to see the cycle of bad thoughts I had about myself, and the cycle of self-hate that tore me down more and more each time.  Stay tuned.  You are amazing just the way you are.

Posted in: extra notions, self-respect